


The Adventures of Mega Thot and His Broom Bitch

by iFanClover



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Because That Works Too in This, I Wrote This Kinda on a Whim LOL, Like, M/M, OOC, This is Just a Huge Shitpost, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 17:21:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16288679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iFanClover/pseuds/iFanClover
Summary: don’t commit cheating kids





	The Adventures of Mega Thot and His Broom Bitch

Ren walks into his room with wary eyes. He made sure he wasn’t being followed by anyone. He looks around to see nobody in sight. With a sigh of relief, Ren walks over to his bed and pulls down the cover to find some blue hair tucked under it. He smiles, leaning in to kiss his dearest’s head.

“Hello, my beautiful darling~” he seductively whispers into his lover’s ear.

The person under the covers turn around a bit before revealing himself to be Masato. “Jinguji,” he says, “hello. . .”

Ren chuckles. “Still sleepy, I see~?” He caresses the soft felt face of his darling. “I did go a little rough on you last night.”

“It’s fine, Jinguji.” Masato gently holds onto Ren’s hands with his tiny knubs. “I like your roughness~”

“I’m glad you do~” Ren leans into Masato, ready to kiss his big flappy lips.

Ren’s door suddenly busts open.

“JINGUJI!!!” screams the real Masato, standing at his doorway with angry angers in his eyes. “Kurusu told me that Shinomiya called him to tell him that Kotobuki-senpai overheard Ittoki and Ichinose gossip about Kurosaki-senpai seeing Mikaze-senpai and Camus-senpai take a photo of you making out with a _dirty-ass bitch_!!”

Ren, spooked by Masato’s sudden intrusion, tries to tell Masato that it isn’t what it looks like, but instead asks him, “Where’s Aijima?”

Masato lets out a loud gasp in disgust. “Don’t tell me you’ve been seeing him behind my back as well!!”

“No! No! That’s not it at all!!” Ren immediately jumps out of the bed. “I’m not seeing anybody other than you!”

“Then,” Masato points at Ren’s right hand, “how do you explain that?!”

Ren turns to see the Masato he’s been secretly dating right behind the real Masato’s back still on his hand. “O-Oh. . .”

“Who’s that boy, huh?!”

Ren is sweating seesaws now, unable to find the right words other than his side bitch’s name. “H-He’s MasaPuppet.”

“Yeah, and who are you calling a ‘dirty-ass bitch’??” MasaPuppet starts speaking. “And, just so you know, Jinguji Baby has been much happier with me!”

“ _Jinguji Baby?!_ ” Masato bitchslaps MasaPuppet out of Ren’s hand, making him fall out the open window. “How dare you call him that!!” He turns to Ren, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I tolerated your thotty behavior before. But now? Now, it’s become too much!”

“Bae, please!!” Ren cries. “You can’t leave me like this!”

“I’m sorry Jinguji, but,” Masato stops at the door dramatically, “I don’t think we can even stay as fuck buddies at this point.”

“Masa, wait!!” Ren falls to the ground and reaches for his precious broom. “Please, don’t leave me!” His ugly sobs fill the room’s silence.

In the distance, you can hear sad viola music from Natsuki and Syo’s room.

“I can’t be your broom bitch anymore.” A single tear runs down Masato’s cheek. “Goodbye, Jinguji.”

The door closes on Ren, now crying alone in his room. “Masa, please. . .”

*****

“To Be Continued” slowly fades onto the screen, but is deafened out by the sobs of Otoya and Natsuki.

“Masa, no!!” Otoya cries. “You two were so cute together!! Why did you have to leave?!”

“Why did Ren-kun have to cheat on Masato-kun?!” Natsuki chokes on his salty tears. “Why?!”

Tokiya and Syo just stare at the screen in disbelief.

“This show was so predictable since the very beginning,” Tokiya comments.

“I know right?” Syo responds. “I mean, I called it on the first episode! Ren is gonna cheat on Masato because he’s the Mega Thot, and here we are on Episode 7!”

Tokiya turns to Masato and Ren. “By the way,” he asks, “how we’re you able to do this thing in the first place?”

Masato blushes madly as Ren smirks and pulls out a flimsy little book. “I found Cesshi’s little fanfiction stash~”

“He’s,” Masato gulps, “very descriptive when it comes to certain scenes. . .”

“OWO, what’s this??” Cecil rises from the depths of Couch Hell. “Did I find some filthy Snoop Doggs rummaging through my personal belongings?”

Ren drops the book. “Fuck.”


End file.
